TOP 5 BEST VIDEO GAME CHARACTER NAMES I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

TOP 5 BEST VIDEO GAME CHARACTER NAMES I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

As I sit in the hospital with my son, my brain goes to some weird places. I decided one day to try to think of the best and worst video game character names. These lists came directly from my brain with no internet help. I am sure there are great names I missed. Don't care. These are the ones I thought of. Here goes:


5. Sonya Blade 

Video games, specifically fighting games, have had their fair share of terrible video game character names. Rarely does a game hit a name square on the head like the original Mortal Kombat did with Sonya Blade. Don't get me wrong, the name is cheesy as hell, but there is a quality to it that lets me know exactly who the character is before I see her. Sonya Blade is a name that can only belong to a femme fatale and it fits her persona nicely. What the franchise has done with the character in more recent years has made her into a much deeper and realistic character that is much more respectful of women than her previous iterations. The name Sonja Blade, simply put, is kickass.



4. Glass Joe

Boxing nicknames are usually ho-hum and uninteresting. Iron Mike. Italian Stallion. Money Mayweather. Punch-Out isn't much different, with the characters either following traditional boxing tropes or being way over the top cartoony. The stand out to me is Glass Joe. Imagining the Punch Out universe as a real place, I am made giddy by the fact that a boxer is so bad that he has earned the nickname Glass Joe. However, aside from being bad, he has also been persistent enough in boxing to become a fighter well known enough to earn a nickname, which is a feat in its own right. Glass Joe perfectly fits that first fighter in Punch Out, and kicking his ass is always a delight.



3.  Falco Lombardi

This name fucking kills me. Every time. Fox McCloud...Peppy Hare...Slippy Toad...FALCO LOMBARDI?!?  Every other name is a cutesy animal pun but Falco Lombardi sounds like he runs a seedy crime syndicate in the back alleys of Corneria. Better yet, he talks like he runs the mob. He's brazen, thinks he's the best, and is legitimately pissed when Fox helps him out. He gets pissed when his girlfriend shows up, he KNOWS he's the best flyer, and Slippy is no more than a pain in the ass flunky he puts up with to placate Fox. If you don't think Falco Lombardi is the best Star Fox character, I will send a Lombardi Family thug over to break them kneecaps. That name is incredible.



2.  Yennefer of Vengerberg

Ok, this name is a bit ridiculous but I absolutely love it. It just rolls off the tongue like poetry. This is the name of a long, lost love. I can actually picture Geralt pining after her when I hear this name. It is mysterious and enticing. When hearing this name, I can picture the raven locks and piercing glare before I even see her. As like all other things Witcher, this name was carefully crafted with a very specific person in mind.



1.  Miles "Tails" Prower

Tails is a decent name by itself. We named our son Miles because we love the name Miles, although he was not named after Tails. Put it all together and it just sounds good. Miles "Tails" Prower makes it sound...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!  MILES PER HOUR!! MILES PROWER!!  THOSE CLEVER SEGA BASTARDS!! He goes fast, his name is Miles Prower, he flies with his tail, we will call him Tails for short, he wins forever.

Honorable Mentions:

Wendy O. Koopa

Mr. Drippy Lord High Lord of the Fairies

TOP FIVE WORST VIDEO GAME CHARACTER NAMES I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

TOP FIVE WORST VIDEO GAME CHARACTER NAMES I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

Music Incoming!!!!

Music Incoming!!!!